The Top 10 Ways to Get Fired at the Holiday Party
The company holiday party is a magical place. A land of open bars, awkward conversations, and at least one coworker saying, “I don’t usually drink, but…” right before creating an HR situation in real time.
If you are looking for the fastest ways to destroy your reputation, ruin Q1 before it begins, and end up in a meeting with HR on Monday morning, here are the top 10 ways to get fired at the holiday party.
1. Treat the open bar like a competition
If you mix tequila, wine, and whatever that mystery punch was, you are not celebrating. You are speed-running to unemployment. By dessert, coworkers will be placing bets on whether you make it to January.
2. Give an emotional toast no one asked for
It always begins with, “I just want to say something real quick.” Suddenly you are crying about quota, oversharing, and thanking people who do not even work at your company. The microphone was never handed to you. You just took it.
3. Corner your CRO to pitch your “genius” new comp plan idea
Nothing says “promotion risk” like loudly explaining over cocktails why your comp plan should include surge pricing, rollover quota, and PTO bonuses.
4. Flirt with the person who was just promoted above you
Few decisions end a career faster than trying to impress your brand-new boss after two peppermint martinis. Congratulations. You are now the storyline of the night.
5. Turn the dance floor into an HR incident
If you start dancing way too close to a coworker while giving full music-video energy, you are no longer dancing. You are creating documentation.
6. Argue with the CFO about your expense report
Holiday events are not the time to defend your $400 “client lunch” or the Uber that crossed two state lines. If the CFO raises an eyebrow at you, your career is already in danger.
7. Bring up the comp plan like it is a therapy session
If the phrase “Let’s talk about accelerators” leaves your mouth, you are already the villain of the event. Nobody wants to hear a full breakdown of why the plan is unfair. Not tonight. Not ever.
8. Accidentally forward a NSFW Slack message to the entire company
If you meant to send a joke privately and instead blasted it to All Staff, you will be escorted out before the gift exchange.
9. Try to recruit coworkers into your side hustle
Cornering teammates with “Have you ever considered passive income” is a one-way ticket to HR. If the words “It is not an MLM, it just looks like one” come out of your mouth, you are done.
10. Take down the holiday décor trying to get a selfie
If the tree falls, you fall, and the CFO witnesses both, there is simply no recovery path.
