What to Do When You Learn an Employee Is Interviewing

Last week, we published a blog about what to do if you get caught interviewing.

The basic premise was that employees shouldn't apologize for exploring opportunities. Managers interview. Executives take recruiter calls. Business owners evaluate acquisitions, partnerships, and offers to sell their companies. Employees have the same right to gather information before making an important career decision.

That naturally raises the question from the employer's perspective: What should you do when you learn one of your employees is interviewing?

I've handled those situations a few different ways over the years, and looking back, I think each approach was appropriate for the situation I was dealing with. I don't think there's a universal rule, and I don't think interviewing should be treated like misconduct.

That's probably the biggest change in my thinking.

Early in my career, if I heard someone was interviewing, I assumed it meant they were unhappy or halfway out the door. Experience has taught me that an interview, by itself, tells you almost nothing. It tells you someone had a conversation. Everything else is an assumption until you know more.

Sometimes I Do Nothing

One of the first times I consciously decided not to do anything involved an employee who, to this day, has no idea I knew he was interviewing.

When I first heard about it, I considered asking him into my office. It would have been easy to ask what was going on or whether he was planning to leave. Instead, I decided to leave it alone.

He was doing a good enough job. Nothing had changed in his performance. He wasn't disengaged. He wasn't causing problems. The only thing that had changed was that I had learned he'd interviewed somewhere else.

A little while later I found out what had actually happened.

His wife had accepted a promotion that required them to relocate. He was simply trying to line up a job before giving notice. At the time we didn't offer remote work, so there really wasn't another solution for either of us.

If I had confronted him simply because I knew he had interviewed, I don't think it would have accomplished anything. It probably would have made an already difficult situation more uncomfortable for someone who was trying to handle it responsibly.

That experience made me realize that leaders sometimes feel like they have to act simply because they have information.

We don't.

If nothing has changed about the employee except the fact that you learned they interviewed, it's worth asking yourself what you hope to accomplish before scheduling a meeting.

Sometimes I Have the Conversation

I've also had situations where I thought a conversation made perfect sense.

If it's someone you value and you honestly want to understand what's going on, I don't think there's anything wrong with sitting down and talking.

The important part is making sure the conversation doesn't feel like an interrogation.

I'd rather start by saying something like, "I heard you may have spoken with another company. You're not in trouble. I'd rather understand what's going on than make assumptions."

That immediately changes the conversation.

Instead of defending themselves, employees usually start explaining what actually happened. Sometimes they're frustrated about something at work. Sometimes they're relocating. Sometimes a recruiter reached out and they were curious enough to listen. Sometimes they simply wanted to know what opportunities existed before deciding whether they already had the right job.

I've also found that this is a good opportunity to tell people how much you value them if that's how you feel.

Leaders often assume employees know they're appreciated. I'm not sure they always do.

I've seen people genuinely surprised when they realize how much the company wanted them to stay.

What Changed My Mind

One experience that still makes me laugh happened years ago when one of my employees asked for three days off so she could try out for a professional soccer team.

I told her to go chase the opportunity. The next day it hit me that I had enthusiastically approved three days off for what was, in every practical sense, a job interview.

I teased her about it afterward because I realized how differently I would have viewed the exact same situation if the opportunity had come from another employer instead of a professional sports organization.

The funny part is that my opinion about her going never changed. I wanted her to have the opportunity.

She didn't make the team. She came back to work, stayed with us for another year, and eventually moved into a career supporting athletics.

That experience forced me to admit I had a double standard. When someone interviews for a professional sports team, we call it chasing a dream. But when someone interviews with another employer, we sometimes act like they've committed an act of disloyalty.

I'm not convinced those situations are as different as we like to believe.

Another experience pushed my thinking even further. One of the hardest resignations I've ever received came from my top guy. He did just about everything and made my life a whole lot easier. More importantly, he was someone I genuinely enjoyed working with and someone I respected personally. It honestly felt like a breakup. For a brief moment, I almost felt like he'd cheated on me. (We were both happily married, by the way.)

I think a lot of business owners have felt something similar. When you've invested years in someone, worked through challenges together, and built a genuine friendship, it's hard not to take it personally when they decide to leave.

Fast forward a few years, and he's a client. A big one.

That relationship didn't end because he left. It simply changed.

I've seen that happen more than once over the years. Former employees become clients. They become referral sources. They become hiring managers. Sometimes they come back. If you react emotionally every time someone explores another opportunity, you're far more likely to damage relationships that could have value for years after they leave.

Employment Is a Situationship

One thing I've changed my mind about over the years is the way I think about employment itself.

Good companies invest in their people. Good employees invest in the companies they work for. Real friendships develop. People spend years working through difficult problems together. None of that is fake, but employment is still a professional arrangement.

Managers interview. Executives take recruiter calls. Business owners have conversations about mergers, acquisitions, outside investment, partnerships, and selling their companies. Nobody assumes those conversations automatically mean a decision has already been made. They're simply part of understanding what options exist before making an important decision.

I don't think employees should be viewed differently.

If someone interviews with another company, I don't automatically assume they're leaving, and I don't automatically assume the company has failed them.

I also don't assume there's nothing to learn.

That's why I don't think there's one right response when you learn an employee is interviewing. The important part isn't reacting to the interview. It's taking enough time to understand what the interview actually means before deciding whether you need to respond at all.